Golden Rule Networking
I define Networking (at least EFFECTIVE networking) as “the art (and science) of getting (and GIVING) information and personal referrals that may be helpful to BOTH parties in the short and long term.” Most people simply forget about the giving part, which is why many feel so badly about networking...and why their networks dry up so quickly. How do you get referrals? Don't ask for them...earn them. When someone gives you a referral, they are taking a risk!
For good or bad, you become a reflection of them. So what have you done (in your words and actions (or lack of)) to earn the trust of and reduce the risk of that person in your network? Will you make them look good, neutral...or bad? Will the person in their network call them to THANK them for connecting the two of you...or will they roll their eyes in silence as a result of having met you over coffee?
If your “networking” comes across like you are in great need of help, it will not take you very far. That’s because, if you are like most, there are only a small number of people that care deeply enough about your “dilemma” to invest time/effort on your behalf. (And people that are very “needy” usually have less to offer in return.) The key to effective networking is to find a way to sincerely give to those that you meet.
This will unlock the key to unlimited expansion of a valuable network, rather than being left with an exhausted list of “friends and family.”
Giving to your network can come in several flavors. Be creative*. Ultimately, however, it is most effective (because it reinforces your personal “brand”) if your giving is closely correlated with your unique experience and giftedness. Using your giftedness in your job is also the key to a fulfilling career, so don’t miss this time of transition to make sure that you are working in the functional role where you are most gifted. While sometimes it is not possible, it can be a great strategy to “take a step back to take two steps forward.”
(Note: be careful about your motives! Giving SO THAT you get is different than giving…and then finding out that others want to give back. Accordingly, it’s important to give to people, and to give in ways that you will still be glad you did, even if you get nothing in return. Another way to say this is to “give out of your passion.” Clues about your passion can be found in the answers to these questions. What topic would you give a speech about for free? What skill would you donate on a Saturday? What cause or subject excites you? What makes you angry? If your passion is closely tied to your profession, you are in good shape. If not, you may have some extra work to do.)